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Ugh.

Let’s just start there.

Ughhhhhh…..

You guys. I’m an idiot.

Does anyone else used LinkedIn? If you do, and I’ve ever emailed you about anything ever, it probably just sent you a connection request. You can ignore it. I’m sorry for the spam.

You know who didn’t ignore it though? My mom.

You know, the person I’ve extricated from my life because of her toxic behavior?

The person who began love-bombing me when she learned of my son’s birth and I had to threaten police involvement to get her to stop? Yeah…Fucking LinkedIn sent her a connection request.

And she accepted it in .5 seconds and messaged me.

So, I had to go into damage control mode on THAT.

My brother then blew up my phone wanting to know what I did, because mom was apparently freaking out about this. I had to tell him it was a mistake. He covered for me, telling her my account was compromised. Then I logged into my LinkedIn, much more carefully this time, to assess the damage.

After much panic, tears and cursing, I did some digging to figure out what happened.

From what I can tell, what I thought I did the first time, was click “skip” from that screen that prompts you every damn time you login to LinkedIn to message everyone in your contacts. What I did do, by mistake, was friend every single person I’ve ever emailed ever.

When I got to work the next day, I find my work arch-nemesis was among them.

It also friended the entirety of my high school graduating class (from an email I got once about our ten year reunion), an old photography client whom I had a pretty negative dispute with, and some guy I emailed ten years ago about an apartment in Virginia Beach when we thought we might have to move.

I¬†inadvertently became “that guy” and am beyond embarrassed.

How could social media betray me so? And of all the media platforms to stab me, why does it have to be the one that you’re supposed to use to look the most put together?

Now I look like the biggest idiot to ever wield a keyboard and I want to crawl into a hole and hide. Any hope I had of looking normal on LinkedIn for the possibility of finding a new job is now dashed (at least until this passes from people’s memories).

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