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Throughout my last pregnancy, I swore to myself it would be the last time I would put my body through something like that. I hated being pregnant for so many reasons. I made sure everyone knew it. Especially my OB, who had little patience for my nonsense. Of course, as part of my nearly year long interactions with her over the course of the pregnancy, she did ask what my postpartum plans for birth control would be. I enthusiastically stated that I wanted a tubal ligation, preferably while I was still in the hospital after delivery.

When that time came, however, no memory of our conversation could be found for her, so it must never have happened. Ugh, fine, I figured I’d get it done another time. And I did schedule it, as a separate procedure nearly two months later. I was back to work by then, and had to take a day of precious PTO I had just recently banked in order to go.

The surgicenter was clean and very quiet. My husband brought me in, and I went through all the expected motions at check in. Everyone was trying to assure me that I had nothing to fear, that general anesthesia would be no problem, and I should be in and out quickly. I stuffed my fear down into a quiet part of my mind, determined that I would be fine.

As they brought me back and connected the IV, I remember laying back and closing my eyes. Then waking up much later in a very groggy state. The surgery had gone fine, but apparently, one of the instruments slipped and lacerated me. I guess. No one explained it to me, or if they did, I have no memory. The doctor did tell my husband, but he had no idea what was really happening, and assumed someone would have this conversation with me. But they didn’t. In fact, at the time I type this, almost two months later, no one from my doctor’s office or surgicenter has given me any explanation as to what happened or how badly it cut me or anything.

The recovery took longer than I expected, but the end result, sterility, was all I really wanted. I’m glad I had my two boys, but now I’m done. And I’m glad I don’t have to worry about it any longer.

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