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I’ll just come right out and say it: I’ve never been more exhausted in my life. I used to think I had it rough with the first kid, but dang, this is so much worse. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and they are so awesome, but I’m so freaking tired. The baby is on an opposite schedule from our 3 year old, so while they get their rest, we get nothing.

Thankfully, for the first twelve weeks, we had the option of napping while the oldest was in daycare, but the weekends were hell. At first, I was taking the whole night shift, but as my husband’s job was winding down to its end, we began to work in shifts. I would put our older son to bed and sleep when he slept until about 2:00 a.m. Then, I’d switch with my husband and take the baby until the morning.

The advice to sleep when baby sleeps is solid, if a little misguided. Sure that works at night, but once you’ve pumped yourself up on caffeine, it’s not so easy. I worry about functionality when I return to work in a few weeks. I’m going to have to add a bunch of things to a crazy morning schedule in order to get to work on time. But for now, I’m focusing both on simply surviving this minute by minute, and dreaming of the days to come when my boys will be largely self sufficient and sleeping on their own.