, , , , , ,

One of the hardest things, by far, about pregnancy is the slow and steady toll it takes on your body and mind. The physical symptoms contribute to the emotional ones, and both bleed into your life in ways you don’t anticipate.

Although the process takes almost a full year from start to finish, not counting the recovery period, people see it as a flash in the pan. I marvel at statements like, “wow! that went fast!” or “I feel like you just told me you were pregnant.”

The people who have been impacted the most, besides me, are my husband and son. Our home dynamic has had to change in a big way because I’m just not capable of doing everything I used to. To his credit, my husband has stepped up to fill in for me in so many ways.

The heartbreaking realization, though, is that I’ve lost the first hand experience of being with my son for a whole summer. I can’t pick him up or carry him. I couldn’t go on rides with him at Disney or help him swim at the pool. I felt like a spectator watching him grow up in what looked like a really fun time.

He’s noticed too. And, as we get closer to my due date, I’m hoping that we can make time for all of use to be together as a family. I’m looking forward to having some time with him again, just us two, to make up for what we lost while I was out of commission. Bless his sweet, patient heart for being so understanding during this difficult time. I know it wasn’t easy for him.