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One of the most irritating things I’ve found during my previous and current pregnancy is the phrase “talk to your doctor” before doing anything. As a person who works in the regulatory field, I understand why this statement exists. Partially because very few things are shown to have a direct correlation to harming pregnant ladies, but MOSTLY because no one wants to be liable in case a pregnant lady or baby is harmed by the advice they give you on a website.

However, I’m tired of having to call my doctor to find out if every little tiny thing I want to do is off limits. During my first pregnancy, I was trying to avoid caffeine by drinking herbal tea. But I was concerned because some herbs aren’t safe during pregnancy, but NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE. I was on live chat with the company who makes the product and the standard statement “talk to your doctor” was flexed in my face like I’m a moron for even asking.

This problem with not knowing what’s safe for pregnant ladies stems from a true lack of research on the minor stuff. All the research I’ve seen for pregnant women is about life-saving stuff or measuring outcomes using non-invasive measures. And all I want to know is what I can take for this horrible acid reflux, what product I can use to wash my face and whether or not this herbal tea is going to kill my baby.

And honestly, half the time, my doctor doesn’t even fucking know the answer either. When I questioned her about the tea, she shrugged, as if to say “how the fuck am I supposed to know?” But her response was, “better not.” Well, why not? Because we don’t know. Okay, I get it, better safe than sorry, but really can you just tell me whether or not it’s okay to drink? Because it’s yummy in this tea, and I can’t have a red bull.

Talk to your doctor is the pregnancy equivalent of “I don’t know, go ask your mother.” How about you adult up and fucking tell me? I don’t think it’s that much to ask. Oh and if you’re going to tell me no, have a good reason, instead of opting for the negative given your lack of knowledge on the subject.