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My apologies for my readers, but you’ll have to descend from your high horses to read today’s post. What follows is a tale of petty revenge. If you’re going to comment that I need to grow up or get over it, click somewhere else because that sort of level headed adulting is not welcome today.

There’s a woman at my job, who drives this late model red chevy truck/SUV thing. She works in my building, but I don’t know her, only her face and this car she drives. She drives too quickly and unsafely in a staff lot during times of pretty heavy pedestrian traffic. Because we get lunch at around the same time, she often snipes my parking space by the time I return, which I must concede is only fair. But today, she took the cake.

I was just arriving to the lot to take my late lunch when she came barreling around the corner. I walked slowly, giving her time to drive past. She looped the lot once and then came back to follow me. I realized she was waiting for me to leave so she could get my space. Not today, I thought. I walked really slowly, then realized someone had papered each car in the lot with some sort of advertisement. Hmmm, I thought to myself, better check this out before I go. I stood there reading the paper for a good minute or so, before the red sniper pulled up and asked in a snooty tone if I was leaving.

“No. Just getting something from my car.” I smiled cheerfully, and walked back to the building. I was actually going to leave, but I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction today. She pulled off quickly in a huff. I took my time, actually walked back into the building, and went to the ladies room. Then I went to my car and got my lunch.

I accepted that I’d still probably lose my spot by the time I got back. I was fine with that. My lunch took longer than expected, so true to the expectation, my spot was taken. I did spot the red sniper’s car parked in the very back row of the lot though. I guess she didn’t snipe a better spot or she had to take what was available to get back to her job on time. As for me, though? There was a lovely little spot opened up right in front, as it turns out.