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I have a snapchat, but fuck if I know how to really use it. Half of the time, I’m like a baby boomer on Facebook, desperately seeking to understand a technology just beyond my grasp. I also don’t understand the new filters. (Are they even called filters?) The barfing rainbow is just unsettling and the old person in me is frightened whenever someone sends me one.

While we’re on the topic, I have to say I’m really, really, really, unreasonably bothered by face-swaps. I have yet to see one that I find amusing. Most of the time, I’m just like, “Ugh! Make it stop!” and scroll it out of my line of vision as quickly as possible. I was tempted to find an example or two for you guys, but my preliminary searching on teh Google was more than my poor heart could handle.

So, as a friend, if you have me on any of these apps or whatnot, please don’t send me face swaps, even as a joke. They hurt my tiny brain matter and I really need the stuff I have left for remembering Simpsons quotes and shoveling oreos into my face. That is all. Thanks guys!