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My apologies readers. I’m tired. I’m sick. I’m cold. So very, very cold. I saw something on the internet that said “why you’re more creative in the winter” or some bullshit and I’m just like, “nah….” My brain has frozen up like so many crunchy windshield wipers inexplicably left up in the parking lot at work. If I had more ambition, I’d go flick them all down on the cars, because, this among many other things today, annoys the crap out of me.

I’m perpetually cold. I keep my office door closed. I practically sit on my heater. I drape my winter jacket over my legs. My fingers and toes are almost numb. I think I might have Raynaud’s or whatever that is, but I don’t get the discoloration in my skin. I’m just cold. All the time.

I complain, and my coworkers tell me it’s because I have no fat. So, by that logic, I should gain 90lbs and be warm? No, thanks. That’s not really a viable solution. And the suggestion is insulting, because a substantial weight gain like that would probably kill me. I’m just cranky. I need it to be spring, like yesterday. I can’t take much more of this winter garbage.