I’m a lucky lady. For real. I’m so blessed that my life has some amazing humans in it. Over the weekend, after careful planning and orchestration for child care, my friend and I had what I would consider an amazing lady day. My friend drove an hour to pick me up, drove us together to this kickass rock climbing place, and then we went to one of my all-time favorite breweries.
The rock climbing thing scared the crap out of me though. There’s a fear that overwhelms me in high places, even though I knew I was tethered by an autobelay and all I needed to do was let go to be caught and gently laid to the ground. Still I wanted a damn selfie at the top of the thing. I didn’t realize until I let go with one hand how truly fragile my grip was. I prayed silently that I wouldn’t do something stupid like drop my phone down three stories onto my friend’s face below. Luckily, I snagged a not completely terrified look and managed to get down without embarrassing myself.
I tried a harder course, but doing a new exercise makes you realize how weak you are. I’ve never been strong in my grip or upper body, but this experience made me acutely aware. The will to not embarrass myself was all I had to keep me from flopping helplessly to the ground while these teenage kids just launched themselves up the wall without fear or trepidation.
The best part though, aside from the rush of doing something that scared me, was being with someone who I trust. My friend, who’s probably reading this now and smiling to herself, is someone who I never have to sugar coat things with, I can speak my absolute truth, and she has never cast judgment. Besides scaling a wall, there’s nothing more frightening to me than being my actual authentic self with someone. There are so few people I truly trust in this aspect. The weight of the bullshit mask we wear for everyone else is exhausting. And it’s so nice to be free, if only for a few hours.