Today, I’m feeling strong. There, I said it. I feel good. It’s not often I can say it, but there it is. Unquestionable, unwavering stability.
It’s not often I feel that way. Half of the time, my anxiety and self doubt overwhelms me, leaving me incapable of feeling confident in any of my decisions. I think that’s normal. We fear making decisions because of not only the definitiveness of it, but out of fear of choosing the wrong thing.
Maybe it’s that my morning session with my therapist went better than expected and that she validated some of the decisions I’ve made in my work life. Decisions, I’ll admit, may come off as juvenile or childish in dealing with a destructive person I cannot avoid. But she didn’t contradict me, and even said that my choices were thoughtful and wise, considering the circumstances.
It could be that I saw my primary care doctor today too, and he was happy to see that I’m feeling better and no further cardiac issues to be spoken of. He was incredibly supportive and it was just nice to have that experience.
Lastly, it could also be that I saw my friend, the one who got diagnosed with cancer, and although it was more brief than I’d hoped, it was nice to see her, even if just for a minute. At any rate, it’s not common that I feel this good on a Monday, but I’m enjoying every minute of it.