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I got the following (in quotes) in an email spam and it was too good not to post here for maximum awesome!

Dear Beloved.

Who me? Did I stumble into a wedding?

Compliment of the day to you.

Not unlike the soup de jour, strange, unsavory and containing the leftovers from a hundred scraps from yesterday. I’m hoping the compliment of the day comes with bread or some lovely oyster crackers.

Please accept my apologies for intercepting your privacy.

So polite, so accurate.

I am Ms Tranko Wall,

Clearly a robot name. This is not my first brush with the fawning attempts at robot sentience, but it’s nice to see them trying.

I have been diagnosed

With? No? Nothing? Just the next statement? Ok.

My motive of contacting you is based on

Again. No answers. Is this like an existential fill-in-the-blank?

Ā Distribute my funds to the motherless, less privileged and widows.

You are not the boss of me!

I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer.I have only about a few months to live and I want you to Distribute my funds($US 10,300,000.00 million) to charities.

Nice try! I know your robots don’t even have esophagi! And, you’d think “someone” with this much money would have a plan in place for their funds. I mean, where are you keeping it, in giant shoeboxes under your bed? Another trickery there, robots don’t wear shoes!

reply me email on this email

Que? Do what with the what now?

Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.Yours in Christ,Ms Tranko Wall

Whatever you say, Ms. Robot Lady. You stay in Christ over there. Imma get me some froyo!