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For regular readers of my blog, you’ll know that my husband travels for business at least one night a week. It’s one of the less awesome aspects of his job, especially now that the little Saurus is with us. It was much harder when he was tiny, but now that he’s a toddler, we decided to try a weekend trip to the beach. My husband cashed in his hotel points for a totally baller suite on the ocean at a very nice, family friendly hotel and considering it was still two weeks before the summer season really began, we were looking forward to a quiet weekend on the beach.

What we didn’t realize was that it was “Cruising” week at the beach. To those of us, including yours truly, who don’t know what Cruising Week is, allow me to inform you in the most unbiased and generous way possible. All man-boys, neck beards optional, who are distracted by loud noises and shiny colors and things with wheels descend upon this resort town and spend the week circle jerking to the Fast and Furious movies, sucking down every Natty Ice in the tri-county area, blaring their garbage music, revving engines, drag racing each other, and spinning out black tire marks down what used to be very nice streets. For miles, these homogeneous gray blobs of pathetic humanity line up their folding chairs and digital cameras to document this event, which makes Comic-Con seem more mainstream.

Fortunately, we were able to avoid most of these ilk, since our hotel thankfully priced out the riff-raff. However one band of seemingly well-enough off bros were inexplicably able to book a room one floor beneath us. Their rabble-rousing moved thankfully to the bar at bedtime for us, but they returned with a vengeance seeking out their lost brother at 3:00. For some reason, their carbon-monoxide damaged logic gave way to the brilliant idea that they could, in fact, shout louder than the roar of the ocean, to their pal “Tyler” who was down on the beach, 9 stories down.

The rest of the trip was super fun. My son thoroughly enjoyed the change in scenery, having access to an indoor heated pool, and trying Maryland blue crab for the first time. He was relatively well-behaved, although he’s still struggling with that whole, sleeping through the night thing. We’ll definitely do this again, but hopefully next time, we’ll time our trip around the Too Fast Too Furious crowd, since our mojo was definitely thrown off by their presence.