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I am, by heritage, a blond whitey white white person. I am practically translucent, and I’m pretty sure you can see the blood flowing through my veins if you look closely enough. It’s a bummer when I want to do things so adventurous as, oh, I don’t know, go outside in the sun for longer than 15 minutes without turning to a blob of red, sunburned fury.

The upside of it, though, is that most of the hair on my body, including my legs is very pale blond. It’s practically unseeable to most people and unless you actually brush up against it, you’d never know it was there. Because my skin is so touchy, I end up getting ingrown hairs and a red, bumpy rash when I’ve shaved in the past.

In truth, I’ve never really been able to figure out the best way to deal with it these many years since my first horrible shaving experience with a dry razor in the summer of my 14th year. My legs quickly erupted into long red lines (left from pushing to hard against the skin with the disposable razor I found under the sink). I spent the next day at a friend’s house being relentlessly tormented by said “friend” about what an idiot I was for doing it wrong. Honestly, though, the internet didn’t exist and my mother was too busy gulping down jug wine to notice I might need some lessons on being a lady.

To this day, I still don’t know what the answer is. I don’t like leaving it grow, but considering most of the time I wear pants, no one has to really be bothered by it than me. I had thought that perhaps I might try waxing, to see if it worked better than shaving. It was nice at first, but I quickly realized the hair is too fine for the wax to pick up, so there’s still patches where I need to shave. This sort of defeats the purpose of the expensive, not to mention slightly painful.

I went in for my third appointment (figuring it would be my last) and the hair that had grown back since the last wasn’t even long enough to attempt it. Not wanting to waste the appointment, I had her wax my eyebrows instead, which didn’t really need it, but it had been a few days since I tweezed them.

The waxing went fine, but the cream she put on my skin to calm it after the wax ripped out the hairs by the stem made me break out like crazy. It would be my luck that I would marr up my face over such a banal, tiny modification. By the time the breakout finally calmed down the hairs had grown back. I think I’m done with waxing. I’ll just stick with the usual methods for now, until I can save up enough “eff youse” money to laser it off.