For most of my life, I considered myself to be a “cat person.” Not that I would consider myself a cat trapped in a person’s body, but I’ve always had a kinship with them. I’ve always felt that I could speak their language, often better than interacting with some humans.

There are many traits that both cats and babies share. Both are cute, relatively cuddly, and nice to have around most of the time. Although, they can be troublesome, making unpleasant noises and creating messes which their “people” are subsequently responsible for. Since my son was born, I’ve come to understand certain differences between the two, the most notable and humorous of which I’ve outlined below:

  • A cat will always land on its feet when dropped. Babies, not so much. 
  • Both cats and babies will nap most of the day, only one of them will wake up softly and without protest.
  • Both cats and babies are wont to throw up from time to time. Babies do so with stealth-like ninja skill, not showing any sign of distress or indication that a major eruption is about to take place. When a cat throws up, you’ll know it from every room in the house, yet be unable to do anything to stop or contain it.
  • You can leave a cat alone for the weekend, provided you leave enough food, water and a litter box. Try this with an infant, and you’ll end up having to answer to child services.
  • While both are wiley and unpredictable creatures, only one of them can be placed in a cage without drawing some nasty stares.
  • Cats are rewarding pets, but rarely do much more than eat bugs and kill vermin to earn their keep. If raised correctly, babies can grow up to earn money and provide for themselves.
  • Headbutts from a cat are sweet and endearing ways for them to show their affection. Headbutts from a baby are surefire ways to break one’s nose while the poor thing struggles to keep his head up.