It’s hard to believe how much time has passed. My son is nearly a month old now and so much has changed in even that short amount of time. I’m still figuring so much out, but my confidence is improving. We’re having fewer of the “oh shit!” moments, which I take as a good sign.

My son is getting better with feeding. Though we’re still doing mostly formula, using the breast pump has given me the confidence to try breast feeding again. Though we are only getting between two to four sessions a day, I feel better about giving him even a little bit rather than nothing. We’re still figuring out rhythm and latching, but we’re getting there.

He’s also making good strides with sleep. Although we’re not able to put him down for very long, we did buy a co-sleeper, and we’re making progress with getting him to rest while mommy and daddy are sleeping. Hopefully, by the time I have to (reluctantly) go back to work, he’ll be on a reasonable sleep schedule.

The fun part of his growth is the way he’s starting to smile and laugh. I realize that at this stage, those are mostly reflex reactions, but they are heart melting nonetheless. He’s gaining weight and length, almost totally outgrowing his newborn clothing already. He’s making new cooing noises all the time, and is very intently studying both faces and the ceiling fans, which I find most amusing at around 4:00 a.m.

Being a mom has been incredibly challenging, but the little milestones are keeping me going during those moments of frustration and doubt. Some days I feel like I might actually be doing a good job. Only time will tell.