When I was planning my maternity leave, I was looking forward to the opportunity to focus more on my writing. I decided that I could write while my son slept, expecting to have two to three hour intervals to work on my writing projects. It’s almost laughable to think about that now.
My days are completely interrupted. I am in bed most nights by 6:00 p.m., although it’s been difficult to get to sleep at that hour. Even though I’m exhausted, my brain is still racing and I’ll often toss and turn for an hour or more before I can fall asleep.
Most nights, my husband can give me about 5 or 6 hours to sleep, before I take over for the night shift. However, my son has begun to be more challenging so he’s needed a break sooner. I don’t mind relieving him, but the late hours begin to wear on my brain.
During the day, the sunlight helps to keep me up. But at night, there’s only so much my body can stand. When my son finally settles down, I find myself staring off into space, unable to focus on even the simplest of tasks that must be accomplished. The idea of writing anything is ridiculous.
Perhaps as time goes by and my son settles into a more predictable sleep schedule, I’ll find time to work on these projects. But for now, I’m in pure survival mode. Coping with new motherhood leaves little room for anything else.