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There are few things in life that live up exactly to their expectations. The baby shower my colleagues did not want to throw me but were shamed into doing so on Friday was one of those things. Unfortunately, the expectations I had were for the situation to be one of the most awkward situations I would ever endure.

The room was so tense, you could hear a pin drop. Few people showed up, not wanting to be witness to the shit show that it would inevitably be. The person who told me they wouldn’t throw me one to begin with was so frustrated with the lack of attention being paid to her that she forcibly interrupted my conversation with one of the few people who came so that I could “open my gifts while I still had an audience.”

Gifts were nonetheless incredibly generous. The people who actually like me showed up in a big way. Most were done in cards sent ahead of time, which was undeniably enviable. I ended up with a ridiculous amount of money on gift cards toward totally necessary baby items.

One person from my department didn’t even bother to show up. Even my boss managed to stop by for a few minutes to the “festivities.” Of course, when we returned after the whole awkward situation was over, she avoided eye contact with me, and went straight to the kitchenette with an empty tupperware container to fill with leftovers from the party refreshments. It was laughably the most tactless thing I’ve ever seen.

I have no idea if my boss will say something to her about it or not. She has been rather passive-aggressively rude toward me, blocking doorways when I need to pass through, refusing to transfer customer calls to my extension, and such. I’m not really surprised she didn’t show up. If anything, it’s a total and complete fulfillment of her crappy personality. It was actually nice to have some validation of my suspicions.