When I was younger, in the days before Internet shopping, we would scour the store circulars in the hours following Thanksgiving dinner in preparation for Black Friday. Waking at some ungodly hour, we’d venture to the nearest store that was opening the earliest to make the mad dash for the two or three items we wanted from that shop. Then we’d rush to the checkout and dash off to the next destination to repeat the process until about lunch time when we had our loot amassed and crash.

There was no room for amateurs. We and the other shoppers were on a mission. If you took the time to mosey, you were likely to get some nasty treatment, or worse yet. If you wanted to have a leisurely shopping experience, try going on another day. Rookies should stay at home.

Since then, with the advent of online shopping and the frankly disturbing events, which include pepper spraying and fatal tramplings, I’ve gracefully bowed out of the Black Friday rat race. Even without the so-called Cyber Monday deals, nearly all of my shopping can be done online, without ever needing to venture out of the house. It’s far less stressful than the early morning mad dashes of yesteryear.

Still, our grocery shopping still needed to be done. Venturing into the nearby shopping center which just so happens to also house a Home Depot, we realized that all the ancient blue hairs have decided to pick this weekend to finally leave the tomb, er house. Instead of facing throngs of maddened soccer moms, hellbent on the elusive ludicrous deal, the hazard instead was the older model cars going 20 miles under the speed limit, changing lanes without signaling or checking blind spots, and aimlessly wandering through the parking lots, oblivious to the oncoming traffic. Sometimes, I wonder if I should be leaving the house at all these days.