A few days ago, I posted about a rather terrible dining experience. I also shared the same post on the restaurant’s yelp page to serve as a warning to others. It was also my hope that maybe, just maybe, the restaurant’s management would see it and decide to make some changes.

I’ve written a few other reviews on yelp, mostly good, others not so much. In total, there’s about nine up there. I’ve received some feedback from other users, mostly to indicate that the reviews were helpful or funny. There was one I just received was most perplexing. It was only two sentences.

You must work there. The food sucks.

It didn’t reference a specific review or restaurant. I figured it must be one of the more positive ones, but that only narrows it down to about four or five. What was even stranger was that rather than write a review of his own, the troll decided to attack me personally. It had all the sting of a mouthful of strong mouthwash, since there was no further information to clarify which restaurant he was talking about or what he’d ordered.

I’m left with the pang of needing to know more. The unclosed parentheses of this mouth-breather’s comment beg for clarification. Considering that I don’t work at any of the restaurants I reviewed, I simply want to write back, “nuh uh!” But that doesn’t seem to be enough.

I’ve considered a long, well thought out response involving the commenter’s personal hygiene and lack of people skills making his dining experience less than desirable. But considering he could barely squeak out two sentences, he may very well be incapable of grasping my well thought out response. I mean, this guy can’t even figure out how to yelp correctly, so perhaps it was
what he imagines is a witty retort to a positive review he obviously saw as a challenge rather than one person’s experience. Maybe I should let him have this one.