Step one: brine chicken for two hours in salt and brown sugar mixture
Step two: mix up tasty marinade of spices and olive oil
Step three: remove chicken from brine mixture, rinse and pat dry
Step four: baste chicken inside and out with oil mixture
Step five: preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit
Step six: place chicken over beer can and place in glass roasting dish, seal top of chicken with metal dealie to keep steam from escaping
Step seven: place chicken in oven
Step eight: mess around with kitchen timer on oven so that you inadvertently turn off the oven, not the timer.
Step nine: come back an hour and a half later to find your chicken completely uncooked
Step ten: panic and throw temper tantrum, realizing now how late it is
Step eleven: turn oven back on and crank to 450 degrees
Step twelve: begin freaking out that chicken is now smoking heavily due to the spice and herb mixture and oil burning off
Step thirteen: decide to add cold water to the bottom of the dish to keep the oil from burning, thereby causing the glass dish to shatter into a million tiny pieces
Step fourteen: cry
Step fifteen: order Chinese take out and never touch the oven again.