Oh, man, I wish I could have a do-over for today. My attempts to work ahead and set myself up for time off next week have resulted in nothing but extreme and embarrassing failure. And, just like that scenario from Office Space, each mistake I make is brought to my attention by at least three people.

It is for this reason that I hate so much taking time off of work. Even if it is for something fun, like a vacation, I must always pay for it by working twice as hard both the week before and for the weeks following my return. It often makes me wonder if it is even worth taking time off at all.

Perhaps, a day off here and there is fine. But any length of time away from work is just a freaking nightmare. I operate on a pretty regular schedule, and of course, any time my supervisor sees a chunk of time scheduled off, is exactly the time he asks me to disrupt my preparation for time away which is frantic enough to begin with, so we can wax poetic about how we wish certain unchangeable aspects of the job could be.

Oh, and by the way, I get to cover for another chair moistener who has taken off a week’s vacation. Nothing I do ever gets covered while I’m gone, but the minute this asshat vacates the premises, I’m expected to double up. Coupling with the fact that I cannot have any caffeine to rush myself through some kind of blissful focused rapid fire and the added stress of preparing for my own time away, I may just lose my mind.