I’ve not been sleeping well lately. As you may be aware, I’ve recently weened myself from caffeine and it has taken it’s toll. While I am exhausted during the day, I am also not sleeping soundly at night.

To be fair, part of it is due to the weather. It’s June and our bedroom faces east, so around 5:30 in the morning sunlight pours through the supposed “light blocking” curtains I purchased. Even if I wanted to sleep later, there’s a douchey neighbor who refuses to turn off his car alarm as he starts his car every morning at precisely 6:30 a.m. And by then, the cats are stirring and they want their morning attention. One will actually jump up on the bed and paw at me until I pay attention to him.

After I weened myself from the caffeine, I find it hard to stay asleep. Often I will have terrible nightmares and they will wake me about two hours before my alarm goes off and I’ll lay awake trying to decide whether to get up or if I should try to go back to sleep.

This morning, my nightmare woke me at 4:15, although my alarm was set for 6:00, I spent more than an hour tossing and turning, trying to get myself into a restful state for a few extra minutes of much needed sleep. I finally dozed off around 5:45, which did me no favors when the buzzer went off a few minutes later.

The night before I woke similarly at 5:00 a.m., shaken up by a particularly bad dream, that although completely indicative of my mindset at the moment, was not really the introspection I wanted at that hour of the morning. Of course, the busy brain I experience during the day is not helping either, but being removed from all my coping mechanisms, I have little relief from any of it.