After turning in my real evaluation, and sharing my tongue in cheek fake one, I had my scheduled meeting with my boss today to go over my yearly performance review.
Social situations like this always destroy me emotionally. They tap on the fear in my heart that I’ll somehow be discovered as the fraud my subconscious would have you believe I am. In truth, I am probably one of the most knowledgeable people at my job, but my tortured self esteem refuses to accept this.
But, the evaluation was glowing. I did well this year, probably my best since I started here five years ago. I had a few minor things to help things move along easier in the office that I can modify. I’m floating on air, waiting for the depressing reality to set in. Even with my stellar review, I’ll barely see the 3% increase that most of us have come to expect as the standard cost of living pay raise.
Still, it’s better than nothing and I can’t complain. I have a job, and a lot of folks who want one don’t. And, at least I’m coming out better in the end than the unnamed colleague who repeatedly tried to screw with me over the years. I’d rather not be in that person’s shoes at the moment.