My heart is heavy this morning. I feel a sense of impending doom, one that unfortunately I cannot pinpoint exactly why. I go through this from time to time, trying to trust my gut and pay attention to what’s going on around me. I have suspicions, but they are far too vague to share outside my brain without sounding like a complete crazy person.
I hate the feeling, like waking from a dream, not exactly certain if I’m still asleep or wearing pants or even what day it is. I’m restless, frustrated and mostly weighted down in an unexplained sadness. I do struggle with depression, and from time to time, I go through episodes where I can’t move beyond the “stuck” feeling in my mind.
Sometimes it is with good reason, getting yelled at at work or receiving bad news. Most of the time, though, there’s no reason and yet the feeling is just as bad. The weather is gorgeous this week, which should make me feel happy, even giddy, but nothing. It may as well be freezing rain with the way I’m down today.