Eff you, Victoria’s Secret. That’s right, I said it. You and your stupid air brushed nonsense will have no more sway over me. I refuse to go in for another “fitting” which your sales associate so cleverly market as “necessary” every six months, as though my body shape has really changed that much in the last ten years, let alone six months. Sure some women work out or gain weight and perhaps an inch is added or lost here and there. But realistically, not many of us fit into that category.

The last time I went to purchase lady-type undergarments, I was “fitted” to be an extremely flattering DD category. This effectively removed any garment that could be worn without an underwire, the bane of my existence. What I’m actually more likely to wear is probably about two sizes smaller, but that doesn’t sell as many bras, which retail at about $45 a piece. Not to mention the addition of cleverly marketed padding to make up the difference, I end up leaving like many women with something I don’t really want, but can’t really go without. I mean, it’s one thing to go without underpants, but not wearing a bra in public or to work should be a tar & feather-able offense.

While I have been working on breaking the cycle of bad relationships with crappy retailers, I’m still stuck with the stock I have currently. Though I go to great lengths to gently launder and never place the very expensive items in the harsh environment like the dryer, they eventually break down. Sometimes I can stretch them as long as six months before the underwire begins its attempt to escape by burrowing literally into the soft flesh under my arm like some prisoner with a shiv.

Even if I wanted to cut the damn wire out, the garment never fits right again, so I’m forced to put the poor expensive otherwise wearable garment out to pasture. So unfortunately, I’m now in the market for a new lingerie company, one that engages in honest marketing and products for women who have about had it with the nonsense of airbrushed angels.