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I’m on my own today. My husband’s having foot pain, which we are still attempting to diagnose, but which has left him pretty much immobile for the last two days. He’s been limping by on a cane, but for the most part is in too much pain to be out moving around.

We’ve been living a pretty low key hibernation during the holiday break. In short, it has been bliss. Not having to deal with every wildcard variation of humanity that inevitably surfaces this time of year, has been a gift in and of itself. But, effective this morning, we’re officially out of stuff.

I dumped the last nervous bit of milk into my coffee and waited. Half expecting the last bit to produce soured, chunky bits, we had a gracious last bit of adequate milk, and it was just enough. The universe is telling me to quite messing around.

I had been putting off grocery shopping until today, hoping that my husband’s foot would be better. Even if it wasn’t, what a better excuse to get to use of those neato carts with the scooter attached? But alas, he rightfully chose to stay at home to rest, and left the tedious and annoying task to me.

I took my time getting ready, making sure that I at least looked normal and slightly put together. When shopping, however, I noticed several moms in what must be pajamas. I felt a bit overdressed.

Shopping with a partner is totally the way to go. I understand this now. Although one is certainly capable of buying groceries alone, having another person with you strengthens your party, and makes lesser parties move around you. And, you can split the list and meet in the middle, thus saving time.

But best of all, you have someone to keep you focused. Having a crappy attention span like mine is a devastating disadvantage when attempting to stick to something as focused as an actual budget and list.

I have a list, but I can’t keep it straight. The aisles where I think things are don’t have what I need, or if they do, they are blocked by larger cart clusters. I have to renegotiate the entire store to get on the right side of the aisle.

I pick up a bunch of proteins, as we are planning a bunch of meals at home. I grabbed a beef tenderloin, pork shoulder, and a roasting chicken. I also bought some boneless skinless chicken thighs for dinner tonight.

As a single woman, I am subject to approach by the inevitable special needs person, like a beacon in the night, to the shipwreck of awkward interaction that’s about to toss itself upon the shore. A special needs person approaches me, holding up an auto magazine to show me a picture.

“Look, Caddy!” He says to me. Oh no, he singled me out. Must not get sucked in! Fortunately, I am able to make a quick escape. I say that I drive a Kia and don’t really follow cars. Then I turn on my heel and wheel off in a different direction. He may have said something back, I don’t know. I don’t have time for this today.

I am the boss of the self check out. I have the opportunity to get set up with my bags and start bagging at my own speed. It is so much easier than trying to go through the belt. Minor human interaction is also a bonus. Most of my proteins have $3 off discounts, and the previous customer left behind a coupon for one of the other items I have. Sweet!

Out in the parking lot, there’s still the nasty business of dealing with getting the groceries loaded and navigating around the oncoming traffic. The car next to me is loading on their side as well. And, the car on the other side is ready to leave. It is the awkward rush to get everything loaded and get in the car as quickly as possible.

Thankfully, blissfully, graciously, the deed is done. Though I went over budget, it wasn’t by much. I lump the rest of it back home and hope that next week, my husband is back up and moving around. This shopping solo nonsense is for the birds.