A verbatim transcript of a series of texts from a wrong number. 

Yo wat u doin?

Who is this?

Ya baby

My baby already knows what I’m doing. U imposter?

Ha ha smartass. Wat u doin?

No vulgarity. It makes the baby bunnies cry.

Baby u playin wit some bunnies?

Have to protect them from the ninjas.

*phone rings*


*phone rings*


Brenda, wat u talkin about?

There is no Brenda. Only Zuul.

(6 hours later)

Yo wat u doin?

Please stop texting me. I am not Brenda.